So...Its Thursday...around 4pm...
John is standing in front of me...
Asking...For Pink Stuff...for the football game...on Friday...the Next day...
I had given all of my Pink stuff away...Intentionally...
I didn't have anything to give him..
I realized we were going to have to go and Buy Pink Stuff
He was waiting for my response....
I said..."No."
Sharply.
I continued..."I don't have any pink stuff....and I am not buying any..."
maybe ask your Dad...maybe he has some...doesn't he have some pink Running shorts?"....
John said..."Geez Mom...okay...just asking...and No...Dad's shorts are Super short...Im Not Wearing Those.."
and he walked out...
Okay...so some old Pink Darkness remained....It was deeply rooted...
Pain is like that...
It can surprise...
I felt heavy in my chest...It happened so fast...my response to him...
But then something happened...
not right in the moment....but over the next few minutes...
It was kinda a flash....but the words I had written..the responses I had received..they passed through my mind
I went back to John...John and I Did get in the car...I think we went to every store in a 5 mile radius that might have Pink Stuff.
It actually was really Fun...
Pink Stuff Hunting with my almost 18 year old son...
The one who Expressed himself at age 5.. to a complete stranger ...in the Trader Joes Check out Line...
That His Mom is Just Fine...and She isn't afraid to show her Bald Head...
Brought Light in the Darkness...
So we went Pink Stuff Hunting...And I discovered something new...
You know.......
There is More than neon Pink now......
There is Light Pink, Dusty Pink, Rose Pink, Cranberry Pink, Vintage Pink, Tie-Die Pink, Faded Pink...
John particularly wanted the Light Pink Hoodie..Size L...With just the right Combo of Cotton, Polyester and Spandex..no tags in the back if possible .....I wonder if Eli wants some Pink stuff...?...I probably shouldn't get the boys the same color pink...they don't really like to be match matchy anymore...Buuut...I bet Alan might like a pink Hoodie..its pretty soft and its just a plain pale pink.....oh look....There is a pretty cute girls hoodie over there Emily might like......although...she prob would want to pick it out herself..unless its really cozy...then she will like it...she used to love Pink..then she hated everything Pink...with a Passion...But the other day...I asked her to pick a color of...what was it....a water bottle...no....but whatever it was...she said Pink...and I was like..oh...you like Pink again..and she was like...well...Certain..Pinks...oh...it was a BackPack! That's right...but she ended up getting the pale purple one..............Now if I could just get these hangers to slide a bit better...here we go....hmmm....ugh....nope...wrong size....ugh....why don't they have the right hanger matched with the right size sweatshirt...sure would be easier to find stuff..don't they even Want us to buy stuff?.......oh..here we go...nope..not a crew neck...he wants the hoodie.....
"Excuse me Ma'am?...Ma'am...?"
Can I get you a fitting room? A cart?"...
..Oh...uh..no..Im good...
I'm still looking at the rack...not even turning around...
I continued...Im not sure if it was all audible or just parts of it.....
"Just looking for a few Quick Pink things for the High School football game...its Pink Out ...and..."
I went on....
"My son came and asked me and at first I was like...ugh...but then...I realized that he is Just asking for a Light Pink Hoodie...not specifically for Breast Cancer..which can be a bit over the top...ya know...? ....
So....he can even wear it After October...It sure took us ForEver to find some Pink stuff for Men...He is really Tall.. Has long Arms...Pink seems to be really popular this time of year.....you guys have a great selection!...
....I love that these days The Pink stuff doesn't have to have the Ribbon on it...You know it didn't Used to be that way...You know...
....I was at GoodWill.....Just Today... and I got the Cutest Pink Satin Cape...you know..like for a Super Hero?...it was marked 3T..but I think we can make it work...and then I Also found a pink T-shirt that had the #15 on the front and on the back it said "Sheldon" with a cute little Shamrock next to it...Im assuming it must have been an old sports team had them made back in the day...kinda Vintage Pink ya know?......Ya Know?...Ya....."
no response...
I turned around and no one was there...
I guess I was in a moment..swallowed by the Sweetness of Searching for Pink
I smiled to myself...I wonder where John is?
"John?"
Yeah Mom...right here..I can't find my size..
Ugh!...you startled me...
I can't find it either in your size...But we have one more store we can try...
John said..."I bet I can look it up online ...to see if they have it....before we drive allll the way over there..."
That's sweet I thought to myself...he is being respectful of my time.....
"Thanks John..I appreciate that.."
Oh..well...actually...Mom... I really just need to get home to do some Homework...no offense...
oh..well...we have a couple options here and maybe tomorrow I can try again to find the one you want..
Thanks Mom...I appreciate it..
It was Light in the Darkness
He was 5...when it all began..when the dark cloud moved in...when he and his little brother shaved their moms head...and thought it was fun...but then that very night...when I came into to tuck him in...he said....
Hey Mom..can you put your hat back on first?...Its kinda scary...
Darkness...
For both of us...
But...soon...The Light showed up...I think sometimes the Light comes from inside each of us...
It is unique to each of us...
For John...The Light showed up and helped him....
The Light...Helped John...at 5 years old...
Encourage a perfect stranger to Not be Afraid...to not worry...
...and he is going to be 18 in 10 days...a Senior in High School...He has his dreams...He has his fears....as any almost 18 year old does....
He went Pink Stuff Hunting with his Mom...
Light in the Darkness...
He has had to work through some Darkness at a young age...
I see Light in him...
I Hope He sees the Light too...
He may not see it now...
The Light Produced out of the Darkness...
and That...for sure...produced Sprouts of Life....
2 comments:
Love hearing your thoughts and feelings. Thank you for letting me in. Can't wait to hug you in a week!
So here it is, October 25, 2022. You texted me this blog October 1, 2022, the day you made your first new post. My heart stopped when I got that text. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to connect, for real, not in cyber universe. So, I waited. I thought about it. I didn't forget about that text and the blog link. I wanted to connect for real. As I thought about it, what better way to honor you and cherish you than to read every word you wrote. You see, I cherish you and I cherish your words. I am a words person. I cherish words in general. I didn't want to scan through these words in a rush. I wanted to take my time and read every one. Slowly. So I just did. On October 25, 2022 during a time of Sabbatical with my husband. During a time of cherishing the Lord and receiving from Him whatever He wants to give. Today, I just received a precious gift of words from a precious friend. Thank you, Kelly, for giving your gifts to the world.
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